Stressful Relationships

 I don't think I will ever understand the relationship between my 3 year old daughter and her cat, Clementine. Found this picture on the web and I think it is a good portrayal of it often times.

 My girl has been in love with her kitty from the moment she saw her, and on rare occasions the cat chooses to reciprocate.

Most of the time the cat is on the run... Running from the girl who will find great joy in forcing her to sleep on her bed, putting pretties in her fur, pulling her tail, smothering her with kisses (literally), and all things little girls like to do with cats. There are the fun times that Clementine plays along, more likely though are the irritated meows, and low groans that warn of impending doom if she doesn't relent. The absolutely pissed tail whipping left to right, up and down.

There have been a few altercations between the two that have ended in the cats favor.  Afton will carry a small scar under her eye, likely forever.

What is confusing to me, is that in a relationship where you would think the love is gone, or at least one sided, these two still share a bond. After Afton is asleep, Clementine will curl up next to her and sleep as well. It is also the loud cry of a little girl calling for her cat to come home that will always get the cat inside, or down a tree as we discovered today.

I watched a black neighborhood cat chase after our Clementine and put her really high up into a giant pine tree. By the time I got my coat and pants on (rather then the pjs I was wearing), and went outside with the dog to chase the black beast away, it had already disappeared but our kitty was high up and afraid to come down. I called and called, she watched me but wouldn't try. Then comes Afton running down the driveway, she didn't even put on a coat silly girl. She starts calling to her kitty with that war cry "kitty kitty kitty" that she is best at. That darn cat, starts trying to find a way down. It takes her awhile and several failed attempts that only ended in circles, and then she is finally brave enough to make the jump the remainder of the way.

A proud little girl who is convinced that her cat loves her as much as she loves it walks back up the drive, followed by a cute orange cat with a puffy tail who is happy to go inside.

I can't help but think she may be right.

Feeding ourselves mind numbing garbage...

  About to step up on a soapbox, because I can do that online, right? We took the kids last night to see the Disney Live Pirate and Princess Adventure show that was in the area. Following the show I asked the kids what they thought and the general reply was "I liked it", unfortunately.  First I want to say that my intention is not offend anyone parent or otherwise that enjoys this kind of thing, but I will honestly say I don't understand why you do. Mass craziness, with kids and parents alike talking/yelling loudly (especially the woman who sat behind us, she was upset and on her cellphone throughout). Nobody felt the need to be quiet because frankly it wasn't worthy of that sort of attention. So why do people want to teach their kids that this is art? If we teach kids to enjoy crap, they are going to enjoy crap. My desire is to show my kids things that are done well. I don't want them judging things with mediocre scales. I want a show to draw them in emotionally and give them a sense of wonder, I want a show to expose the human condition... be it the good side, or the bad side. I want them to know what 'good music' is. We have refused to play 'kids' music for them, and instead have exposed them to 'real' music, because music made for kids is junk.  I want to give them things that challenge their maturity level, so that they will in fact mature. 
 We had the opportunity to get free tickets to the show, and after finding out it was Jake and the Neverland Pirates we decided to try it out. Our kids enjoy watching that show, and we figured this would be fun. We would have been terribly disappointed had we spent money on the tickets. The show seemed so thrown together, and such a shallow cruddy plot line. Just another marketing endeavor for Disney to get more money from parents who are willing to buy into it.  Sorry, just not my thing. Next time Disney rolls into town, we will pass.

We love candy!

The kids had a great night of trick or treating :) Miles was a Jedi, and Afton was a ballerina (that had to wear water boots due to the rain, she was able to dance through all the puddles).  After the candy collecting we went down to our neighbors house for the annual Halloween get to together the neighborhood does. It was fun getting to finally meet some more neighbors! The kids had a blast running around with other kids close to their ages. It was a good night, and though a lot of candy was consumed no belly aches ;)

The Gutting of the Pumpkins

    Last night we tackled the much anticipated gutting of the pumpkins:) We picked up a couple nice big ones last week at the little farmers market close by. They were $5 a pumpkin, any size. Great deal, we got some big ones! I found a really neato Tinkerbell design as well as a nice lightning bug one, but in the end we let the kids draw the faces they wanted on the pumpkins. Strangest part of the carving is when we cut the top off of Afton's pumpkin we found it to be rotting from the inside out:/ Gross. It looked fine on the outside. I was given the lovely job of cleaning that one out... Rotting pumpkin stinks.

Grateful

    Wow. Read this article.

    Found this article via Facebook today. Likely you have already read it, because that is how Facebook is, but if not do so. It is really good. Her ending point, we each have today with our kids. I think I need reminded each and every day of that. It made me think of my terrible time management skills, and how I stress about the state of my house (which remains a mess), rather then play. I so wish I could attach myself to the " my house is a mess but I am a awesome Mom" crowd, but I can't. My mom skills are trial and error every day. Some days I worry it will be my biggest failure. 

   What I can be is grateful. Grateful that I have gotten to look into their eyes today. I have gotten their hugs. I have heard their voices (talking, laughing, screaming, crying). I know their sweet smells, and their not so sweet:/ Tonight as I tuck them in to bed, they will be comforted by my voice and want me to sing, and I will get to hold them as they drift off to sleep. Unlike this mother, I can think and plan for their futures. Dream of who they will be when they grow up. It is hard to not take this for granted. But tonight I am grateful for the reminder. 

  

Thoughts on loneliness...

   There are days sometimes that I just feel sad. Usually the feeling doesn't stay terribly long, often it causes self-pity, and always it dissipates once I am able to talk and express myself. Gone away for a time, until it pays me a visit another day. I find myself drawn to solitude (most definitely an introverted personality), and yet even when I find some comfort in solitude there still exists in me a yearning for connection. I yearn to be truly known. Many will say that is the beauty of Christianity, to be fully known and fully accepted. And on that level, it is a beautiful concept. Yet, still not enough. The yearning for connection between people still remains. The internet is a wonderful tool for the expressing and sharing of ideas. Also, a tremendous manipulator. You feel the freedom to express yourself and connect, stay in touch, etc... You may even have yourself convinced you are in fact truly connected. Such a shallow depth of real friendship. I crave to swim into deep depths with a few others willing to go deeper. "Few" because you can't honestly connect at those levels with many. To my own sadness I have let relationships go untended, friendships that have 'real' history. I miss talking and hearing a voice (can you tell yet that I spend way more time texting on the phone than speaking on it). I hate that I wait until I have a reason to talk to someone, before I talk to them. I feel like I don't want to to just call for no reason, don't want to intrude in their time. I think a part of what makes me a person is desperately tired of the lack of connection. I need to just pick up the phone (what about the fear of rejection though!...Another topic for another blog).  We are social beings after all. Found this quote today, an interesting thought on loneliness. 

“Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.” 
― C.G. Jung

Creative and Great Message