There are days sometimes that I just feel sad. Usually the feeling doesn't stay terribly long, often it causes self-pity, and always it dissipates once I am able to talk and express myself. Gone away for a time, until it pays me a visit another day. I find myself drawn to solitude (most definitely an introverted personality), and yet even when I find some comfort in solitude there still exists in me a yearning for connection. I yearn to be truly known. Many will say that is the beauty of Christianity, to be fully known and fully accepted. And on that level, it is a beautiful concept. Yet, still not enough. The yearning for connection between people still remains. The internet is a wonderful tool for the expressing and sharing of ideas. Also, a tremendous manipulator. You feel the freedom to express yourself and connect, stay in touch, etc... You may even have yourself convinced you are in fact truly connected. Such a shallow depth of real friendship. I crave to swim into deep depths with a few others willing to go deeper. "Few" because you can't honestly connect at those levels with many. To my own sadness I have let relationships go untended, friendships that have 'real' history. I miss talking and hearing a voice (can you tell yet that I spend way more time texting on the phone than speaking on it). I hate that I wait until I have a reason to talk to someone, before I talk to them. I feel like I don't want to to just call for no reason, don't want to intrude in their time. I think a part of what makes me a person is desperately tired of the lack of connection. I need to just pick up the phone (what about the fear of rejection though!...Another topic for another blog). We are social beings after all. Found this quote today, an interesting thought on loneliness.
“Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”
― C.G. Jung
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