Dedication Sunday

Today we dedicated Miles at church. And wouldn't you know the little man had to be fussy when we were up on stage. The only time he really was quiet was when Pastor Mike was praying over him :) Oh well, babies will be babies! Aside from that it was a special time, and we were able to publicly commit what we've already committed to in our hearts. I truly feel that God is going to use my little boy. From a mother's stand point that makes me both overwhelmed with joy and sorrow. Not a depressed sorrow, but just a happy sadness (that's the only way I know how to describe it), and for selfish reasons... what if my son has to struggle through hard times or he is called to go far away from his mommy... It's these selfish worries that make me have to remind myself that Miles is not really mine anyway. God has given me the blessing of having him for a time, but he is His.
Miles is really an answer to his mother's prayers. Joe and I weren't trying to get pregnant when we did, but it was on my mind (ALL the time). I was having issues in the women's department
( if you know what I mean ;) and worried that I would not be capable of conceiving. My heart felt broken at the thought that I might not be able to have a baby of my own. I started to pray and pray and pray and pray. I prayed that God would give me a baby. I often thought about the bible story of Hannah, and how she cried out to God for a child. Promising that she would give the child back to God. And God gave her Samuel. And God is faithful, even to a lowly person like myself who has been so selfish in my life, living my life as I want and not giving Him a thought, He is faithful. I prayed for a son (you can think I am crazy if you want but I knew I would have a boy when I found out I was pregnant!) a passionate strong fighter that God could use for good. (Please know I don't mean strong fighter to be anything violent...but in the spiritual sense, and know that Joe gave Miles his name not knowing what I had been praying, his name means soldier, humble... Shepherd meaning one who guides or leads). And than finally one morning it was heavy on my heart again, and one last time I prayed and this time instead of asking for a child I gave the burden to God. I did not know what he had planned for me but I was not going to worry about it any longer... If I was not to have children than I was going to be okay with that because God knew the desires of my heart and I had to have faith in that. About a week later I found out I was pregnant :) I don't believe that that was by accident. And I will forever be grateful that my God heard my prayers and blessed me with my beautiful boy.